Couch Potato’s musings on Yoga

In addition to being laid back – My family’s opinion, I prefer to think I am ‘selectively active’, an appreciation for good food found me growing horizontally longer. The collective wisdom of family was ‘exercise’!

Imagine my horror when I discovered the dreaded fate awaiting me, all my instinct for self-preservation kicked in, digging in my heel, I refused to lift as much as a finger! BUT the Mafiosi family were united and determined…

Perceiving the dire fate awaiting me, I accepted the judgment with the proviso I would choose the form of my punishment. The suspicious family agreed. Casting about looking for a form of fitness that would inflict less pain and work I discovered Yoga fitted the bill (I was naive!). That was then, now after attending the classes for few months I found out certain things about Yoga that amused me.

 

Yoga Meditation is annoying

The novitiate to Yoga is usually taken aback when they first encounter Meditation. A perfect Meditation is one where you empty your mind of all your thoughts and open your mind, receptive to receive positive energy that will keep you infused with energy and floating… defying the gravity.

BUT have you noticed just when you begin clearing your mind, you suddenly remember the juiciest bit of gossip that just has to be shared with your neighboring yoga mate or worse you remember a slanderous news that keep your mind busy throughout the Meditation session.

Remember the movie ‘Inception’? ‘Don’t think of the elephant but that’s all you end up thinking!’ Never mind… The point of Meditation is simply undone… BUT who cares!!!

 

From the Silence to the Bedlam

Of course, Yoga has to be varied to hold the attention. Some ambushed students, including me, have attended what we call laughter yoga or hahahaha yoga. It’s yoga where the silent class erupts into raucous, belly aching laughter. Each louder than the rest, all striving to grab hold of positivity to enhance their physical being with beams and beams of positivity.

Feels and looks simple… Doesn’t it? One even asks why crib about it?

Imagine you and your class practicing Yoga decorously with all the finesse of a fragile grandma when you suddenly burst into loud laughter to the alarm of passers-by. I have seen sedate walkers hurrying when they come closer to the spot where hahahaha yoga is going on as if crazy harpies were on their tails.

 

And then there are overachievers

Have you noticed every class will have at least one overachiever planted in the class just to give rest of the lesser mortals a humongous complex? The whole class would be grunting, groaning, grimacing expending their energy ranging from ‘I am taking this as a challenge’ energy to ‘I hope I have enough energy to open the shampoo lid after the session’ energy while this overachiever would smirk and coolly do a Surya Namaskar at a stretch.

The lesser mortals would hurriedly roll the yoga mats, put on their flip-flops, rush home, switch on the television, grab a plate of forbidden snack but the overachiever would still be on his yoga mat, beatific smile on his smug face contemplating the slow voyage to Jupiter while he contorts his body like a melted rubber.

 

How seriously can it dent the fragile ego of the slow novice?

One is seriously tempted to give up on yoga but saner counsel prevails.

Yoga, can be, an hour devoid of nagging.

You spend eternity contemplating the fastest way to the pastry shop as you do Meditation. At least you have learnt to come down from 70000+ everyday thoughts to a single thought state. And what the single though should be… is your practice.

As for the that elusive ‘Body flexibility’… Isn’t that what keeps you EGO motivated?

Best of all, you can honestly admit you laughed from the soul, clearing away the cobwebs of stress, irritation without spending more than a dime.

Yoga indeed, can be, a cleanser of the soul and that is one big reason to smile about… Isn’t it?

Aashish Nanda

I am not a Spiritual Guru. I am not a Healer. I am not a Coach. I am not a Transformer. After trying to define myself, with various labels, I realized that I am simply a Mirror - A CLP Guide.

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