Drowning in the deluge of Hot Yoga punishment
My experience with ‘Hot’ Yoga 🙂
When mid-life crisis starts, it starts with a mega explosion. One day you are the smug svelte princess with an hourglass figure and a metabolism to die for, the next day you end up having several tyres around your midriff that would do Dunlop proud and wrinkles that would look good on an onion. Panic seizes you as you crash around like a rotund hippo looking for a miracle cure. You realize there are no overnight pills that will usher in second youth.
You settle for next best thing and look around for workouts – workout that doesn’t make you work but allows you to get back your figure or the semblance of it.
Hot Yoga asana comes to mind instantly…
I mean all you have to do is sweat it out under an elevated temperature holding various poses for a certain period of time. How difficult can it be? I mean models pose and pout all day and they look none the worse for wear! The hot temperature actually helps in throwing out all toxins out of the body via sweat. If one can lose weight so easily, bring on the heat! Well for all those wannabe’s here are few pointers to aid you in adjusting to Hot yoga.
Hot yoga is a form of Hatha Yoga that incorporates various yoga asana (postures) and breathing technique. It is performed under elevated temperature for a period of 90 minutes.
So you trundle in clutching your yoga mat as if it is a life-saving hero, saying over and over to yourself, be cool, be cool and just say Namaste to whomever you meet. Behave as if you have born to do yoga and don’t forget to breathe. Now act all Yogini’ish. You totally got this.
You enter the classroom and wham! A heat that will melt the ice of Antarctica hits you. Ruthlessly tamping down on the meteoric rise of alarm, you remind yourself heat -> Sweat -> detoxification resulting in glowing skin -> young skin. Gulping down your alarm, you bravely step into the darkened room neatly lined with yoga mats.
Hot Yoga is high heat yoga asana practice. Guzzle water like how a greedy monkey stuff yummy golden banana in its cheeks. Don’t fret about the excess liters you are sloshing about within your belly. You aren’t going to leak in front of the class, remember the flood of toxic sweat you are going to release, you need the water for it.
The angry birds errm bees…
A sculpted instructor walks in all swagger and muscles and an angelic smile guaranteed to lull you into a false sense of security. The class begins with Pranayama, immediately a drone of angry humming bees assault your ears, looking around you realize this is Pranayama – the slayer of stress and protector of breath yoga hero aka breathing technique. You breathe easy marveling how easy-peasy hot yoga is when the class moves to next exercises.
You rapidly change your mind about your yoga teacher; the teacher is Chengiz Khan incarnate who has a sadist bone in his body. He makes you twist, bend, contort your body into different animal postures. The muscles long adjusted to soft couches and cushiony seats protests but the teacher will not have it. You go through all the yoga postures ending up feeling like limp, slippery noodles at the end of the session.
But, as you soak in the cold, wet towel, your pose straightens itself, you feel a lot refreshed and the achy pains actually gives you a sense of accomplishment as you resolve to do another session of Hot yoga.
Yes! I continue to torture myself to an occasional Hot Yoga Asana class 🙂 BTW, I refuse to name this HOT Yoga for the fear of being sued 🙂