Liking or Disliking OR being Liked or Disliked is all part of Life…
Sometimes you don’t fit in the crowd, sometimes you are the odd one out, and sometimes you don’t have any friends in your new college or working place. But guess what? Any of these do not make you a lesser person. Every individual has a certain innate charm. All you need to wait is for the right people who can identify and acknowledge you.
Liking and Disliking are personal choices
Likes and dislikes are personal choices, and there is nothing much we can do about it. All we need to realize is that it is okay to not be a people person. You don’t have to make everyone happy around you to get in to their good books. The point is nobody is going to give you any award for the number of friends you have except if you are contesting in election. It is okay to be liked, ignored or hated. None of these make you a bad person. Here are some reasons to tell you why it is okay to be disliked:
1. Diverse people, cliques and groups are a reality
People are different and so are their tastes. One may not like a very jovial and outgoing personality, while the other may not like a quiet and calm person. We all have different personal traits, and human beings are wired in such a way that in a society whether it be a school or an office work space, there will be cliques and groups.
Cliques and groups is nothing but human nature. The geeks form one group and so will be the fashion enthusiasts. It is just very normal for the fashion diva to develop a dislike towards the geek. But yes, this is not ideal. The world would be a better place if the geek could appreciate the beauty of the fashion diva, while the latter appreciate the intelligence of the geek. We are all people who hesitate to appreciate. This hesitation coupled with ego result in dislike.
2. Stop pleasing parade, relationships are build over time
Wherever you go, there is always a crowd waiting for you. The best relationships are the ones that are built in time. There is more understanding and permanence in such relationships. So to get the best, you need to wait the most. Do not hurry in to a pleasing parade where you will do anything to please a person. Such people are never valued or respected by people. You will only look like a desperate person trying to get popular. In fact, all you need to be is the real you and open to people.
You can never force a relationship; things happen if they are meant to be. Do not go behind someone who does not realize the value of the love and care that you give. Do not go for a person who takes your efforts for granted, and never acknowledge them. Do not go for a person who cannot like YOU simply by the way you are.
3. Not everyone can identify the real you
Understanding you means understanding your likes and dislikes, your strengths and fears, your smallest fantasies and everything. Not everyone can understand each other. There has to be a unique someone out there who can identify the unique in you. So stop extending your friendship and love to everyone you meet. It is nice to be nice, but it not nice to be too nice.
4. Do not fit just because it is cool
Everyone wants to be part of the cool gang. But sometimes the cool may not be as cool as you imagine it to be, and you don’t have to try hard to fit in. And even if you do, you will have to fake so much that you might end up losing yourself. This often happens to people, and in the end they break down when none of their efforts win acceptance.
It is okay not to be popular, all this popularity and fame look very tempting. But maybe they are not that great and sometimes it is all a shallow and show-off business. Be true to yourself and never do something dismissing your own self and identity. There are certain things that define you as a person. Once you give up on them just to become cool, you lose individuality.
5. The need for meaningful relationships
The more you try to enlarge your friend circle, the more meaningless relationships you will end up making. What you need is a set of true friends who will stand up for you and maintain a genuine relationship. Relationships made for the sake of it will always remain fake and pointless. We all need that friend with whom you can have a healthy chat over a coffee, a friend who is never hesitant to offer a shoulder when you are sad, a friend who will always boost your morale reminding you what you are capable of.
A true friend is someone who gives you the support even if the whole world is standing against you. Your efforts should be to earn such meaningful relationships that will withstand the test of time and hardships. They will never appear at the time of your need. A good friend might be a less talented or popular person, but do not under estimate the power of his/her friendship. Sometimes the most ignored friends turn out to be the most valuable assets in future.
6. Will make you appreciate relationships better
If you have been the person who tried to be nice to all, but wasn’t appreciated for it, it is still okay. The problem was never with you. They just did not deserve a friend who would have done anything to keep them happy. It does not actually make you a desperate person, but someone who has immense capacity to love, help and forgives people. But still, make sure you do not give all you love to the ones who do not deserve it. Always spend your efforts on the ones who will be appreciative to you for what you did.
This does not mean you should always think twice before helping people. It is just that sometime you need to be a little selfish and give more importance to yourself. That is the first step towards leading a self-respectful life. If you do not find anyone of your type in a group, hold on. You do not have to do all they ask you to do like a slave. Rather, love yourself and spend some time with yourself. You never know how awesome that could be.
All these do not mean that you have to be the bad guy being rude and mean to all. You just have to stay where you are and be what you are without losing your integrity and individuality. You will then be respected and accepted for who you are.
Rather than being in a rat race to please people, it is better to stay confident and happy in your own circle and comfort zones being nice and pleasant to everyone around you.