Why can I not sustain relationships? Why do they not go beyond flings?
Don’t fret. A lot of us cannot sustain relationships. The blame isn’t yours to own and neither is it the others’ to accept. Relationships require time and effort. While they may start off nice and dandy, the testing phase arrives only down the line.
Then why do we get into relationships that were doomed to start with?
A case of needs and desires; we, at least some of us, get into relationships because of that initial physical attraction, which over-rides our power of thinking and reasoning. After all, every species, at a bare and basic level, looks to progress its own kind. You are forgiven for owning that carnal desire BUT we are the species endowed with the power of reasoning.
Once that initial attraction dies down, then what? Once familiarity begins to bore you, then what? These desires need to be balanced with needs. A relationship shouldn’t always translate into only physical attraction and convenience. Relationship should be synonymous with companionship, friendship, trust, joy, satisfaction and so much more.
A crude yet relevant example
We weight the needs and desires when we Shop. We all go out into the market and purchase goods we desire, like televisions, cameras, phone and laptops. Before we actually make the purchase, we commit to endless hours of research and comparison. We weight the need vs desire quotient.
On the other hand, lots of us often enter into relationships based on only desires.
Look beyond those physical, parochial pleasures and build on your relationships from day one. That is when your needs will overcome your initial, temporarily pleasured desires and fulfilling relationships will overcome the short-term flings.