Stop trying to impress others…
We all have that problem of trying to prove to everyone what we can be. We do a lot of crazy things in our pursuit of impressing people. Sometimes we go on a very difficult diet to lose weight to impress our lovers. Sometimes we feel like proving it to the world that we are awesome and capable of doing anything. But the truth is we just cannot please everyone around us, sometimes you just end up looking desperate.
We often neglect the fact that the beauty of things can be in their imperfections. Nobody wants to befriend a Mr. Perfect who is a control freak. Rather we would befriend a person with flaws, but accommodating.
We do not have to fake to impress anyone
Your weaknesses are your strengths. Whether people blame you for being the emotional fool, or a hyper person, all these make the unique you. Learn to accept them, learn to love them provided they- the weaknesses- do not roughshod your sense of personal identity and your self esteem. AND if they do… I will cover that in another article. Related read... How to overcome low self esteem.
In the meantime, coming back to the topic at hand… There is no point in being someone that you are not, because at some point you will be tired of the plastic image you have created for yourself and run back to who you really were. Here are some reasons why you should not wear that mask in your attempt to fit in and how to tackle them…
1/5. For the ones who love you for what you are
This should be the main reason why you should not change. Your friends, your family they all are ok with the person you are. It does not matter to them whether you are size zero or someone who earns huge salaries, you are only going to be appreciated for the simple conversation you can have with them during a coffee. All materialistic things do not qualify you for them to choose you to spend time with. You are chosen by them for your innate capacity to love and care without doubts, or inhibitions.
You will be remembered not for the car that you drive, but the number of times you have been there for your people. That’s where your value counts. Be there where you are, your circle is your comfort zone and where you belong to. If you try to fit in somewhere you don’t belong, you will be neither here nor there. Stay rooted to where you belong, that is your primary source of strength, your identity. You cannot be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. Own it, celebrate it, and flaunt it.
2/5. Do not compare
What extent will you go to if you start comparing? The ones who compare are the ones who are greedy. You will never be content with whatever you are. What is the point of life if you are not able to enjoy the things you have today? In that case you will never ever be able to enjoy anything at all. At times you will be attacked with expectations and comparisons. Just keep your cool and goal intact. You know where you can get to and how, you should keep striving for that rather than what others expect you to be.
You don’t have to be better than anyone. You just need to be a better person than you were yesterday. The world would compel you to pursue mathematics, but if you love poetry, never hesitate to pursue that. You are accountable to only one person, which is you. Do what gives you the sense of satisfaction. If you go by the conventional ways, you will have to do that for the rest of your life.
3/5. For the true passion inside you
Would you want to live a life of regrets because you made a choice not driven by heart, but by society? If not, make your decisions by yourself. Your choices should reflect your interest and conscience. Never settle for anything which is less convincing to your heart. It is your sole responsibility to make choices, and stay committed to your decisions. Defend yourself whenever needed, do not let your under confidence shake you.
Stand up for yourself whenever the situation demands. Nothing is too big or too small for you to achieve. Everything you do is dignified provided you do it with your heart. Life is short, so do all that you wanted to do, and never regret your choices, because they have made you the person you are now. Regretting your choices is just like regretting your own existence.
4/5. The way you treat criticism
You will be blamed, for something or the other. But choose to take what in and discard what is clearly in your hands. To either take it as constructive is criticism or destructive is again in your hands. So learn to grow from the blame games, do not let it pull you down.
First of all you need to accept that it is natural. Not everyone is going to approve of all the things that you do. There will be arguments, disagreements voices against you. Be confident enough to tackle them. There has been a reason behind what you have done. Apologize if you thing what you did is wrong; accept your mistakes if and only if you have done it. Criticism should not be a reason for you to change who you are, but improve who you are.
We fail in exams, we fail in relationships, we fail in our jobs, but all of them are nothing but learning experiences. If you declare yourself a failure, that is when things can get dangerous. It is true that failure is not a very pleasant experience; people are going to thrash you and look down upon you. But do not let this affect your morale. A broken relationship is also an opportunity to resurrect it into a beautiful and meaningful one. Failure gives a lot of scope for self-analyzing and evaluating your strengths and weaknesses.
It is not always necessary to prove yourself to everyone around you
All you need to be is happy where you are and give your best for your satisfaction. What is the point if the whole is very happy and proud of you, but deep inside you are fully frustrated and disgusted about yourself?
Risk anyone’s love, but not the love you have for yourself. Because, end of the day your self-respect and dignity are what gets you going.